The Onion:

LONDON - American swimmer Michael Phelps, who earned 21 medals and became the most decorated Olympian of all time, drowned Saturday while competing in the last scheduled race of his career, officials for the London games confirmed.

According to sources, during the third leg of the 400-meter medley relay, Phelps, a very competent swimmer and 17-time gold medalist, began struggling in the pool, ingested a fatal amount of water, and subsequently died from primary respiratory impairment. He was 27.