- I will learn where people buy toilet paper and stop stealing packs from my parents’ house.
- I will stop actively rooting for the funniest candidates to win the Republican nomination.
- I will not make fun of people who pronounce foreign words correctly.
- I will not get frustrated when my parents put their iPhones in unnecessary protective cases.
- I will make things that don’t include any fart jokes.
- I will not spend my entire shower acting out imaginary arguments.
- I will not buy any new gadgets to help me shave, make coffee, or drink whiskey. I can do these things already.
- I will be on time to things even if I have to wake up early.
- I will use public transportation more often, even though I’m embarrassed that I don’t know how the bus works, and have no idea how to pay other than emptying my pockets in front of the bus driver and saying, “I have this many.”
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tdl said:
please don’t stop rooting for the funniest candidates! the press hears you and tells people that santorum has a chance. its awesome.
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nique said:
i can help you use the bus
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stevetemkin reblogged this from maxistentialist and added:
Certainly can’t complain about
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dr-beakman said:
hahaha these are golden and I think we can all learn from these.
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