"I will pack your sweet, pink mouth with so much iced-cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block!"

“We’re the only house on the block.”

Asa’s room got tinfoiled.

Please note: @Christielouwho turns down free Chipotle.

You know who’s awesome to listen to on Sunday afternoon? Joni Mitchell, that’s who.

Fire Escape

You’re new to hell, and you’re given a choice: You can go directly to the fourth circle, or you can play simultaneous chess games against Alexander Alekhine and Aron Nimzowitsch. Alekhine always plays black and smokes a pipe of brimstone. Nimzowitsch plays white and wears cufflinks made of human teeth. Neither has ever lost.

If you can manage even a draw against either player, you’ll be set free. But if they both beat you, you’ll go to the eighth circle for eternity.

What should you do?

This was one of my earliest Tumblr posts… I’m reposting it because Mister Rogers, that’s why.

Here’s a video of Fred Rogers saving public broadcasting. After this testimony, funding, which was to be cut, jumped from $9 to $22 million.

Once, Fred was asked to the house of a PBS executive for a meeting, and they sent a limo to get him. When he heard the limo driver was going to wait outside for 2 hours,  he insisted the driver come in and join them (which flustered the executive).

On the way back, Rogers sat up front, and when he learned that they were passing the driver’s home on the way, he asked if they could stop in to meet his family. According to the driver, it was one of the best nights of his life. The house supposedly lit up when Rogers arrived, and he played jazz piano and bantered with them late into the night.

Fred Rogers sent him notes and kept in touch with the driver for the rest of his life.

Fred Rogers drove a plain old Impala for years. One day, the car was stolen from the street near the TV station. When Rogers filed a police report, the story was picked up by the local news. Amazingly, within 48 hours the car was left in the exact spot where it was taken from, with an apology on the dashboard. It read, “If we’d known it was yours, we never would have taken it.”

Also, every one of the cardigans he wore on the show had been hand-knit by his mother.

"Hegelian kiss: dialiptical technique in which the kiss incorporates its own antithikiss, forming a synthekiss."

"In God we trust. All others bring data."

Clip Number TWO: The Spread of Humans vs. Zombies

The second preview of the upcoming documentary about the Humans vs. Zombies game. Content was submitted by players all around the world, and the video was produced and edited by Max Temkin.

You can see the first preview here and watch the original HvZ documentary here.

Andre Kasongo Ilunga

Here is an interesting fact about the Congolese minister of foreign trade: he doesn’t exist.

When the prime minister asked for two nominees for the post, UNACEF party leader Kisimba Ngoy nominated himself and “Kasongo Ilunga,” apparently thinking he was bound to win against a phantom.

The plan backfired when the prime minister chose Ilunga. The enigmatic 36-year-old failed to appear at the opening of the new government, and he hasn’t claimed his office. Ngoy says that the invisible bureaucrat has resigned, but the prime minister insists that he must do so in person.

That leaves Congo without a trade minister - and Kisimba helplessly offering that dubious resignation letter. “He wrote it himself,” he insists. “He signed it. Could an imaginary man do that?”

"A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg."